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9- The last chapter.
New Year is always the most expected season of the year all over the world. It brings joy, happiness and new hope to everybody. It is good time for forgiving. For me, it is a very special day, the day I most expect of the year, it is his birthday. We used to have a nice plan for this day long time ago but now no more.
My friends will come to Vietnam from Bangkok & Australia to see me. We may hold a warming house party at my new condo. But he is not the one I expect to join me this greetings season, join me in this warming house party. I need X. The decoration of the house was an idea from both of us. Every time I went there, I saw him though he has never come here.
Someone said “Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.” I will forgive him as many times before for a simple reason I LOVE HIM and I have faith in his LOVE to me too. His love is feeding me everyday to be strong and to build endless hope for our happy together in future.
I will not be around him anymore but my heart is full of him. Every night in my dream he is still standing there, dancing, singing, smiling and pinching my nose like the very first day we met at JJ Pub. We are still showering together, kissing each other and holding hand together.
In Vietnam we say, “Đem yêu thương đong đầy hạnh phúc” (Fulfill your happiness by your love and care). This teaches me that happiness is not having someone who will love and take care for you. It is happiest to have someone you can love and take care everyday. It is so simple but how come it is so hard for me to understand it?
I will learn from what my friend here tell me …to keep those good moments in heart and delete those unhappy moments out of my mind… But I will not just delete it. It will be the challenges for our relationship and only heart and love can heal it. I already made my decision and just waiting for his decision and time to think over about it.
That day may be far. That day may be never. Seasons will change. Time will fly. But I will continue to love him until the very last day of my life.
I hope he is happy with whoever he chooses wherever he is. I hope he will be a good X as he always is in my heart.
I will keep this story in my memory and in my heart.
That day will come soon. I will wait…
I love you.
November 2007
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หัวข้อ: [ENGLISH STORY] I CAN'T FORCE LOVE (If love is real in this world ....) (อ่าน 24262 ครั้ง)
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